Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
What is a French cat's favorite dessert?
What is the cat's favorite magazine?
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One means pause at the end of a clause, and the other means claws at the end of paws
What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
A Lawn Meower.
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
What's happening when you hear "woof...splat...meow...splat?"
It's raining cats and dogs.
Where does a cat go when it loses its tail?
The retail store.
Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit.
Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats?
Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
There was some money in the kitty.
Why was the cat so small?
Because it only ate condensed milk.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Monday, November 26, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Happy Thanksgiving -
be thankful for all the "small pleasures" our funny pets fill our days with.
As a child she had clutched
The strays to a skinny chest
Begging to keep just this one
And was always denied.
Now shafts of sunlight
Catch random cats curled on antique quilts
Or on windowsills between the ruffles of curtains
She smiles small smiles
And sighs small sighs of contentment,
Makes another cup of tea
And ignores the cat hairs in the sugar bowl.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Friday, November 16, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Friday, November 09, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform
the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word
he made contact, "Mary. Mary."
"Is that you, Fred?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have breakfast, off to the
golf course, I have sex, I bathe in the sun, and then I have sex twice.
I have lunch, another romp around the golf course, then sex pretty much
all afternoon. After supper, golf course again. Then have sex until late at night. The next day it starts again."
"Oh, Fred you surely must be in heaven."
"Not exactly, I'm a rabbit in Miami."