Swiss Cheese - with holes!

Joke: The Gift Mouse

A fellow received a mouse for his birthday and he loved it so much that he never parted with it.

He took this mouse everywhere, to work, to parties, to the opera...

One day, a good friend of his died and so he went to pay his respects at the funeral parlor.

Naturally, he took the mouse, which was perched on his shoulder.

On his way home, he suddenly realized that the mouse was gone!

He retraced all his moves for the day and realised that the last place he had seen the mouse was at the funeral parlor.

He raced back across town, but arrived too late.

The body had been removed and was already being transported to the cemetery in the hearse.

The mouse must have jumped off his shoulder onto the casket and gotten carried into the hearse along with the casket.

Probably frightened, the mouse must have sought shelter in the closed casket!

It was too late ... the mouse was being buried alive.

Filled with grief as he remembered an old adage his mother had told him time and time again as a kid...

Never lock a gift mouse in the hearse.

(via Phils Phun)

My teddy bear

Joke: Short Animal Jokes - Mice, Part Two

What is a mouse's favorite game?
Hide and squeak.

What is gray and has four legs and a trunk?
A mouse on vacation.

What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!

What is small, furry and good at sword fights?
A mouseketeer.

What time is it when 12 cats chase a mouse?
Twelve after one.

When do you need to oil a mouse?
When it squeaks.

When is it bad luck to have black cat follow you?
When you are a mouse.

Who is the largest mouse in the world?
E. Norm Mouse.

Where did that mouse go?

"Cat + Mouse" uploaded by ddfreyne

Joke: Short Animal Jokes - Mice, Part One

How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say “cheese.”

How do you revive a drowning rodent?
Give it mouse-to-mouse resuscitation.

What did the mouse say when the cat bit his tail?
That's the end of me!

What do mice do when they're at home ?
Mousework.

What do you call a mouse that can pick up an elephant?
Sir.

What do you call the conductor of an all-mouse orchestra?
Micetro.

What does a mice artist call his greatest work?
A mouseterpiece.

What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield.

What has 6 eyes but can't see?
3 blind mice.

Wanna play?

(via)

Cat for Sale!

For sale: One useless cat