Best Friends

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Joke: Ten Peeves That Dogs Have About Humans

1.Blaming your farts on me....not funny... not funny at all !!!

2.Yelling at me for barking.I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!

3.Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4.Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!

5.Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

6.The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7.Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

8.Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9.Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

10.How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.

Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

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Is there more?

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Wigs for cats?

Now this is

TOTAL

lunacy!

Ninja cat

I'm gonna flip out like a ninja!
Ninja by 7 Seconds Of Love, animation Joel Veitch

Did you drop in for lunch?

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Loose Lips

See more of Herbie at Herbiesphere

Doggie Burrito?

Many more great photos and stories at Five Happy Hounds

Cute Baby Bunny

Beautiful and informative photo essay and baby bunny tip sheet from photographer Robert La Follette's blog.

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Joke: A frog at the bank

This frog walks into a bank to get a loan. He steps up to the counter and asks for an application from the clerk, Patty Wack.
"Hi, I'd like to fill out an application for a loan", said the frog.

Patty Wack replied, "Do you have any collateral for this loan; something to stand against your loan?"

The frog replied, "All I have is this statue of a unicorn."

"Well, I don't know," said Patty Wack, "I'll have to ask the manager about this."

Patty Wack goes to see the bank manager.

The bank manager looks at the statue and replies: "Knick Knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan."

That's one tired puppy

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Skinny Polar Bear?

"Wolf Dog" uploaded by storm_gal

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Back from vacation

Happy New Year!

We're back from a much needed vacation.

What a big baby!

From Squirrels are Evil!

Laundry Day

From Pappy's Dog Blog

From A Day in the Life of Our Pugs

Joke: Short Animal Jokes - Frogs, Part 1

How deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep!

How do you get a frog off the back window of your car?
Use the rear defrogger.

How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.

What did one toad say to the other toad?
"One more game of leapfrog and I'll croak."

What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak

What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
French flies.

What do Scottish toads play?
Hop-scotch.

What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!

What do you get when you cross a frog and a hare?
A bunny ribbit.

What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."

What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.

What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!

Sleeping beauty

"Sleeping Beauty" by milkiwaj

Merry Christmas!

To all our readers, friends and blog visitors ...

Merry Christmas!

Joke: A Puppy's Twelve Days of Christmas

A Puppy's Twelve Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me The Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the seventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Seven scraps of wrapping paper Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the eighth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Eight tiny reindeer fragments Seven scraps of wrapping paper Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the ninth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me My wreath in nine pieces Eight tiny reindeer fragments Seven scraps of wrapping paper Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the tenth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed My wreath in nine pieces Eight tiny reindeer fragments Seven scraps of wrapping paper Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the eleventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me Eleven unwrapped presents Ten Christmas cards I shoulda mailed My wreath in nine pieces Eight tiny reindeer fragments Seven scraps of wrapping paper Six yards of soggy ribbon Five chewed-up stockings Four broken window candles Three punctured ornaments Two leaking bubble lights And the Santa topper from the Christmas tree. On the twelfth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me A dozen puppy kisses And I forgot about the other eleven days.

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Does Santa need help with the sleigh?

More on Brutus and Rufus at It's a Dog's Life

Jingle Bunny

"Jingle Jorge" uploaded by Archae-Chan

Joke: Holiday Etiquette for Dogs

Holiday Etiquette for Dogs

1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans. 2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours. 3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers. 4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know: - - don't pee on the tree - - don't drink water in the container that holds the tree - - mind your tail when you are near the tree - - if there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open - - don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree 5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part: - - not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans - - don't eat off the buffet table - - beg for goodies subtly - - be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa - - don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach. 6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important: - -observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. - - respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house - - tolerate children - - turn on your charm big time. 7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!!

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Oopsies!!!

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Joke: Christmas Turkey

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Books for Holiday gift-giving

Winchester reviews books appropriate for the Holidays.

Decorated for Christmas

More photos of Bosco at The Chocolate Dog Blog

Santa's helpers: Pets dressed for Christmas

"Paris (the dog) - Santa - Giving her "High-Five"" uploaded by dyobalexander

"can't wait for all the cookies" uploaded by bulldog1

"Santa Claws" uploaded by Malingering

"santa8s" uploaded by nika_gagarina

"Christmas lizards" uploaded by gerad

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"Toto Claus" uploaded by lynne_b (I'm back)

"Santa Bunny! (plotting my destruction)" uploaded by pippicat

"Kiki's First Christmas" uploaded by siskokid

"Barkley :santa dog" uploaded by wahoowadad

"Santa Kitty" uploaded by jemmett

"Santa's Littlest Helper" uploaded by Many Cats 4 Me

"Merry Christmas from Rabi&Marron" uploaded by tomo1203

"Santa Mina" uploaded by brandylee

"bullwinkle, grinch, milo, george and kermit celebrate the holidays" uploaded by Malingering

"Santa Mickey" uploaded by kelly-s

"Happy Chihuahuaka!" uploaded by vandyll.net

"SANTA HORSE" uploaded by Mausebärchen

"HO HO HO!!!" uploaded by missgingersnap

"Santa's new helper" uploaded by lipstickcat

Cats' Top Ten Christmas Songs

10. Up on the Mousetop
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, the Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
1. Wreck the Halls!

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Santa Pets

"Santa Biggie" uploaded by *Kendall*

If you like this kind of stuff, don't miss the outstanding collection of
Cats in Hats for Christmas

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A Merry Glider Christmas

"A Merry Glider Christmas" uploaded by Pink-Panda-Person

The Twelve Days of Kissmouse

The Twelve Days of Kissmouse
(I think you know the tune!)

"Twelve Abbys jumping"
"Eleven Bengals singing"
"Ten Studs a Howling!"
"Nine Birmans dancing"
"Eight Persians purring"
"Seven Vans a swimming"
"Six Manx a prancing"
"Five - Calling - Queens....."
"Four Pixiebobs"
"Three Orientals"
"Two Singapuras"
"And a Maine Coon in a Kissmouse Tree"

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Christmas Socks

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Friends ...

From flickr, LoveCats2006's photos

Joke: A Dog's Christmas Promises

A Dog's Christmas Promises

Christmas is for humans, and I will not ruin the surprises by opening all their presents. Christmas light bulbs, Christmas ornaments, Christmas stockings, and tinsel from the Christmas tree are not food. I am the alpha dog, therefore I do not need to protect my new Christmas rawhide from the omega dog by taking it outside to eat when the wind chill is -10 F. I will not demolish the Christmas tree and drag the string of lights out into the backyard through the doggy door. I will not dive into the Christmas tree to get the candy canes (which I will eat -- paper and all). I will not eat my Christmas doggie treats until after they're out of the stocking! I will not even THINK about going underneath the Christmas tree and piddling on the dining room rug. I will not get into a fight with the bigger dog next door, making my human have to call the vet's at Christmas. I will not get tangled up in the Christmas tree lights and pull the tree down while trying to get at a cat through the conservatory window. I will not pee on Grandma's Christmas presents that are under her tree as soon as we enter her house. I will not pee on the Christmas tree. I will not steal the neighbor's Christmas light bulbs. The bowl underneath the Christmas tree is not a dog dish. I will not drink from it. It will make me sick.

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Do I need braces or what?

"Sausages" uploaded by kevinbentman

Arnold and Santa

Arnold's Christmas

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Joke: Dog Math

A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.

"So," says the farmer. "How many sheep were there?"

"40," replies the dog.

"How can there be 40?" exclaims the farmer. "I only bought 38!"

"I know," says the dog. "But I rounded them up."

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Is this thing on?

Kitty Roll-up

"1190839672_1" uploaded by Entery

Just another lazy Sunday

Roy and Gwen enjoying the snooooooze.

Santa rat

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Joke: A Cat's Christmas

A Cat's Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. 'Cuz the cat had pounced on him and tore him apart- Ate his mousey intestines And chewed up his heart. Kitty thought he heard sleigh bells, which made him take pause- He stopped daintily licking the blood from his claws. "Must be Santa" thought Kitty (that quite clever cat) 'Cuz nobody else climbs down the chimney like that. Indeed it was ol' Santa, so jolly and fat With a load of presents and all for the cat! "Wow, the best Christmas ever!" Kitty thought with a purr, Then he coughed up a hairball and shed some more fur.

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If I were just a little bit taller

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