Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to the farm.
Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope, hoping he'd be in time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear fender of the farmer's bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals!
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit and soon, he too began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? (Yes, there's a moral!)
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks."
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
What day does a fish hate?
What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
What do fish play on the piano?
What do you call a fish with no eye?
What fish is the brightest?
What fish is the most valuable?
What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw.
What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
The tune-a fish!
What type of fish play poker?
What's the best way to catch a fish?
Have someone throw it at you.
What's slippery, lives in the sea and loves Dean Martin?
That's a Moray!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank.
Why did the fish cross the road?
Somebody threw it!
Why don't oysters give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
Why don't fish play tennis?
They might get caught in the net.
Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
They have their own scales.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 17, 2008
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Once there were three blind mice who lived in a museum. One evening after the museum had closed and it was very quiet, the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor.
Before he knew it, he was lost.
"Help!" he shouted to his friends,"Help me make it though the knight!"
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Friday, March 07, 2008
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
This English guy is recommended by a friend to eat at a special restaurant in an old bull-fighting town in central Spain, and to do so on a Sunday.
So the guy books a table for himself and dutifully turns up. The place is full and he notices one lone diner sitting at a table set on a raised platform. He doesn’t take too much notice of him, though, and sets to ordering his meal.
As the waiter is finishing taking his order the restaurant lights suddenly dim, a spotlight falls on the lone diner, and a red carpet is rolled from the kitchen door to his table. Then six fanfare trumpeters appear and, three each side of the carpet, they sound a rousing flourish on their instruments.
The kitchen doors open and out walk four waiters each supporting a large covered silver salver, one at each corner so to speak. As they slowly traverse the red carpet towards the raised table, the other diners are on their feet shouting: ‘Ole! Ole! Ole’ with every step they take.
The lone diner sets his arms wide, a knife in one hand and a fork in the other, waiting enthusiastically. The waiters reach the table and gently set the salver in front of him. As the head waiter’s hand grasps the handle of the cover a hush falls across the restaurant. Then he lifts the cover to reveal two of the largest meatballs you have ever seen. The crowd is now shouting even loader ‘Ole!, Ole!, Ole!’
Eventually the noise subsides and the diner slices into the first meatball with his knife and fork.
‘What was all that about?’ asks the English guy to his waiter, ‘that was amazing!’
‘Ahh,’ says the waiter, ‘it is the tradition of the house. We have the special arrangement with the bullring and we get the criadillas, the testicles, from the prize bull after the final fight of the day. Then they are cooked and ceremoniously served immediately after the bull fight is over, as you have seen, to the diner who has reserved the special table.’
‘That IS amazing!’ says the English guy, ‘I must reserve the table for myself..’
‘Sadly, senor, there is a long wait, and I will not be able to let you have a table for several weeks…’
The guy is not to be put off however, and he books a table some 3 months away.
All the time he is looking forward to his meal and eventually the day arrives. He enters the restaurant, and he takes his place on the raised table. All eyes are upon him. After about ten minutes the ceremony starts. The lights dim, the spotlight falls upon him, the trumpeters sound their fanfare and the waiters enter with the large salver. ‘Ole! Ole! Ole!’ scream the other diners. The guy’s heart is pounding as the salver is placed upon the table, and then the head waiter lifts the cover to reveal… two extremely small meatballs.
‘Hey, what’s this?’ shouts the perplexed Englishman ‘I didn’t order these,. I ordered two bull’s testicles, not these tiny things. What’s going on?’
‘Aahh, senor’ says the waiter, ‘You see… you have to appreciate… sometimes… the bull… he wins!’