Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
Joke: Literate chickens
A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.
Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.
About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'
The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.
She follows them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. She hides behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.
She sees the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog keeps commenting, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Friday, November 17, 2006
Joke: The old rooster
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old guy, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it. You are washed up and I am taking over."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn. Third gay rooster I bought this month."
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Joke: The fire dog
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"
Friday, November 10, 2006
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Saturday, November 04, 2006
The cutest newborn kittens, ever!
The cutest newborn kitties!
fofurasfelinas' boyoshuns babies slideshow on Flickr
Joke: The lonely frog
A lonely frog, desperate for any form of company, telephoned the Psychic Hot line to find out what his future has in store.
His Personal Psychic Advisor advises him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."
Friday, November 03, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Friday, October 27, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Joke: Dog in heat
A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?"
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
"Go ask your father", answered the mother, "I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"
The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home."
Monday, October 23, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Joke: The scaly beast
A rabbi and a guy are traveling together. The guy says to the rabbi, "I have a question to ask you. Why does everyone think Jews are smarter than Gentiles?"
The rabbi, who is not up for an argument, says, "I'm sorry, but I am just a simple rabbi! I'm not qualified to participate in such a discussion."
The guy insists. "I have a theory and I need to test it. Here is my proposal: I'll pay you $100 if you can ask me a question that I can't answer. But if I can ask you a question that you can't answer, you must pay me $100."
The rabbi replies, "But I'm just a poor rabbi! I only have $10 on me."
The guy hesitates, then says, "OK, it's my $100 against your $10." The rabbi finally agrees, stipulating only that he be permitted to ask the first question. The guy agrees.
"OK," says the rabbi, "What animal has scaly skin, the body of a cat, the face of a squirrel, the ears of a mouse, webbed toes, and swims under water?"
Surprised, the guy admits that he doesn't know. He asks the rabbi for a few more minutes to think about it. The rabbi agrees. Two minutes later, the guy takes $100 from his wallet and gives it to the rabbi.
The guy then asks the rabbi, "So what animal was it?"
The rabbi replies, "How should I know?" and gives the guy $10.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Joke: Eats shoots and leaves
A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"
The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Halloween Costumes for Pets
Looking for inspiration to dress your pet for Halloween?
Dog Costumes for Halloween
Cat Costumes for Halloween
Halloween Costumes for "Other" Pets
Monday, September 18, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Joke: Golfing with cows
Golfing With Cows
A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows.
"We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.
"I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball -- stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."
"What did you do?" asks the doctor.
"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'"
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